I've been putting some thought into the atypical normality of my writing tendencies on this blog, which is oft labelled by others as merely posing highfalutin and pretentious content, a corollary of the flamboyant style of crafting statements I choose to adopt. And that got me thinking: should I conform to societal expectations (albeit overstating the magnitude and gravity of the situation) and should I decline to comply, does that make me abnormal?

Truth be told, I had no humble intention of changing the way I blog so the first part was actually moot to put it bluntly. But here comes the irony: if it indeed makes me abnormal to slip past the norms of blogging (as per monotonously relating one's experience in written form to a ostensibly dogged ghost audience which we imagine (or pathetically hope) to be hankering after our life recounts), does it not classify me as abnormal to go against my own norms--that is to say by trying to be socially normal, I become individually abnormal.

Said dilemma really comes down to a simple question of choosing between being yourself or forcefully and artificially becoming what others expect of you so as to be "normal" (retaining whatever aspects of normalcy in this ironical context). Naturally, we all know the politically upright answer would be the former yet we so easily let our individuality be overshadowed by that pulled over us by others. We are suffocated by the bag of "normal expectations" society fabricated and so willingly give in to letting this bag be pulled over our tiny heads, now slowly expanding to take the shape of this plastic bag. It blurs our vision and it quells our sense of smell. As our sense deteriorate, so do our psychoanalytical skills and before we know it, donning this piece of plastic becomes a fashion statement; we no longer recall what we once were without a cap over our bodies and we grow to accept who we are now.

Such is the situation I find while serving my mandatory 2 years for the country (I do not apologize for perpetually drawing parallels between life and National Service because my NS constitutes the bulk of my life as it is and I'm more than fine with that). I do not blame (which is not to say that I am not agitated or find distasteful such sentiments) most people, both in service and not, for generalizing that NS is a "complete waste of time" (in my defence, I am in no way overstating the public's perception). Perhaps it is for many; the past week of staying-out made me realize that a large proportion of our armed (or military since they don't actually wield weapons) personnel get to go home every day, going through the mundane routine of getting on and off the train/bus, trying to conceal their feelings of displeasure when confronted with a horde of insensitive Singaporeans barging on and off the respective means of transport. What I'm trying to say is that these individuals essentially lead a very normal life and one that is extremely similar to what normal human beings are expected (apt choice of word because again, that's how we live our lives) to do. Simply replace working to schooling or in this case, going to camp (with the bright prospect of leaving even before reaching), and voila, you have just about everyone's day to day on-goings. And with such a monotonous way of life, I don't expect anyone to swell with pride or find unparalleled meaning in what they do.

That being said, I am not one to stand silently by the side and bolster all the blows that come towards NS. It isn't always completely a waste of time, it's just what people choose to make of it. If you are satisfied with just getting on/off the train/bus, it's fine by me. But that's not the kind of attitude I adopt in life. I have chosen to be more than just an individual, I am individually me and as abnormal as it may be being drawn towards NS, it is perfectly in line with my norms of giving my best in all that I do. Hence, I choose to be heliborne and amphibious rather than just walk with my own two feet (and even then I travel great distances with unbearable load). I choose not just to be another NSF, but a soldier I can be proud of.

And if you've something against that, then you're the one who's abnormal to me.