A couple of months since my last blog post but just only 4 (and I can't emphasize enough how a meager 4 felt what was like an eternity) weeks into OCS. Frankly, I'm still struggling to settle in and acclimatize myself to the new culture, which still remains somewhat of a mystery to most of. But I'm rest assured that the true (demonic) nature of this Home of the Officer Corps will no doubt rear back its ugly head the moment we head outfield, which is pretty soon I might add. Until then, I had had enough time to do quite a bit of reflection on why I'm here to become an officer and quite unlike the politically-incorrect but more oft than not honest responses of money and prestige, I am sincerely not here for either of those 2 (albeit they do come along as really awesome bonuses).
Upon a little introspective self-reflection, I have managed to identify 3 concrete reasons why I want to be here in OCS and these shall continue to drive me onward in the weeks ahead.
Firstly, as cheesy as it might get, I'm here to step into the same shoes as my father 30 odd years ago. It wasn't absolutely obvious to me at the start but as my military journey unfolded itself page by page, I began to realize that my long-lasting aspiration to become an officer was partially inspired by my father's stories and actions. It is an inexplicable phenomenon for a son to want to model after his successful father and the way my father often attributes his strong and firm character to the army only strengthened my desire to aim for the very best. Indeed, it was only the army that was "convincing" enough to get my father to fold his blanket and neaten his bed sheets each morning. All these little, minute actions all the way to the major exercises and operations shaped my father into the man he is today, a man I wish to mirror after and embody the same values and virtues he has diligently exemplified. It is through him that I had found faith in OCS even before I set foot into the place and now that I have finally been given the honor and privilege of doing so, I couldn't have been more correct of my assumptions.
But more than that, it has always been my personal philosophy to do my best at anything that is worthwhile. While some may not necessarily consider NS something of value, deep down somewhere in my heart, I reluctantly concur with all the propagandist messages that are frequently promulgated throughout our NS life as to how army literally changes boys into men. Whilst that is not something everyone can agree on at first sight, the main impetus for me to even consider putting in my best for these 2 years of my life is simply because NS is an inevitable phase of every Singaporean son and we can either go through the motion day by day and look back in regret or give it our all and feel a sense of satisfaction and achievement at the end of everything. It is a comforting coincidence that the motto of Delta Wing "Nothing Less than Best" runs parallel with how I have decided to tackle NS and because I am here to give nothing but the best, officership presents itself as the prime route to undertake. Officers aren't crowned "the very best" loosely; there is a certain level of dignity, discipline and demeanor that officers embody and puts them at the pinnacle of the military hierarchy. The prestige and honor of being an officer stems only from the fact that these very individuals exhibit only the best behavior, skills and values.
And this brings me very smoothly to my last and final reason for choosing to enter OCS. I want to be endowed with the same ethics and morals that my dad and all other officers faithfully embody. I am not want to boot of having a strong moral compass and sometimes I find myself giving distasteful responses to moral dilemmas or situations which challenge one's values. I want to emerge as someone with a stronger character, one that cannot be questioned by others and more importantly, unquestioned by myself. It is by no easy means that an individual can uphold such values and virtues consistently and that I believe is why the route to officership takes a lengthy and arduous 9-month journey. Only 1 month in and I can sense some sort of change (even if it is minimal) and I hope that I can continue to rediscover and reshape who I am so that I may emerge someone worthy to be deemed as a gentleman, as an officer, as someone who is indeed from the very best.
Ultimately, the 34 more weeks to come may be the story of a son growing into his father, an overachiever giving his 110%, and an uncultured man looking for redemption, but it is also the journey of a lifetime and that I will forever treasure. Every day of hardship is another day of learning and another precious day to cherish and hold close to my heart. It is the trials and tribulations that will carve me into a better person, one of mental tenacity and an equally unshaken moral compass. The journey will certainly not be easy but that makes it all the more exhilarating and I look forward to the times when I wish I could just give up in the midst of Scorpion King or when I will crave my bed and home-cooked food 5 days into JCC. I wait expectantly for the hardship and the good times that follow after.
A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
