"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... Until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."
I find myself a mystery sometimes, a Pandora's box of unfathomable possibilities because it is sometimes difficult to choose who I actually want to be. I don't know if I had let myself into this conundrum on purpose or by pure carelessness but it has been long since I donned a split personality (not like many would know given the nature of how such double-edged swords work).
Perhaps it is because I had always started out as a quiet, docile and almost literally mute individual at home; nothing seemed to capture my interest vis-a-vis mundane domestic affairs and honestly, being at home just broods a sense of moodiness and angst within me. Yet somehow or another, I found a way to open myself to friends more so than family and it is a peculiar thing to be extroverted on the outside and introverted on the inside, almost as though the prefixes foreshadowed their differential occurrences. Either way, it has been so since time immemorial and the energy that I conserve at home is channeled into daily social intercourse when I'm out.
It is still undecided if I am indeed introverted or extroverted (not like that is of utmost importance but it is indeed intriguing and sometimes perturbing). Even my MBTI (and very much so against my will to evaluate a person based on some arbitrary qualifiers, let alone myself) could hardly make a solid stand, siding my introspective nature with a mere additional point as the deal breaker. I guess that point is really free-for-all and up for grabs by any side, given the appropriate circumstances and optimum conditions. My family would never believe nor conceive of how I behave outdoors, almost as though I were born to be wild; and many others can never fathom how I barely utter more than 10 sentences per day in my house, almost more than half of which go to my maid.
And sometimes I just want to watch the world burn in its silence, because noise kills productivity and it stops us from thinking, wondering and dreaming, which is almost always the essence of creativity and brilliance. The truth is still that empty vessels sometimes make the most noise because when we speak, we merely regurgitate what we already know and are familiar with. It doesn't add value to anything (well for the majority of our speech at least) and sometimes, it is indeed worth shutting up and brooding over an issue in golden silence.
But there is still a part of me that will gladly burn with the rest of the world that I had set fire to for derailing us from our road to inner peace for noise is the optimum avenue for making change. Ideas stem forth from silence but there is nonetheless a necessity to voice these ideas and translate words into action.
Maybe, because the world fundamentally needs both introverted and extroverted people, I haven't really decided whose side I want to be on.
Or maybe, I don't really have to make a choice. I could be both, and I could be neither.
Above all, introversion and extroversion wise, there is a greater need to be yourself and uplift your individuality, and for me, that is where my stance has always been. Forget the money but just pursue your dreams, at times selfishly, but ultimately for selfless reasons.
Remember to let her into your skin, then you begin,
to make it better.
