Less than 12 hours away to my last production here at Raffles Players and even though I have been ironically reduced to a non-speaking character, I would give nothing less to just stand on stage and remember every single moment I have before, soaking in that atmosphere of euphoria clouded with overwhelming fear and a subtle sigh of relief.

And because I can no longer control my emotions or the urge to write a farewell message to the people I will sorely missed, I shall begin now. Perhaps a tad too early, but never a moment too late.

"I regard the theater as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being." - Oscar Wilde

Above and beyond the intrinsic nature of drama as a subset of the arts, Players has been a home and family to my bliss and likewise sorrows.

It is always difficult for people to comprehend or even at the very least, attempt to understand, the trials and tribulations we undergo in the days leading up to a production. Days of understated toiling are often masked behind the true genius of our production and despite not always getting full-out recognition, I am sure we are more than satiated with the fruition of our hard work and the conceptualization of our desires. It is less so important for others to acknowledge the immense hard work each and everyone one of us contributes to the success of our productions, but more so that every minute spent painting, drilling, rehearsing, flicking the light board switches, shouting and even swearing at each other is a testament to our love for each other and our strength as a family.

And it goes beyond the work we put into productions. Just being around each other emanates a kind of warmth that is difficult to reciprocate with others. The image of us being caged within the TSD (especially my batch given that we've done that, with the presence of flies or not is out of scope) and just prancing around in the darkness and feeling our emotions through our voices and actions is something I would give up anything for. But rather than saying what I miss, I want to remember and reminiscent what we did, which can become a precursor to what we will do.

To my batch: We started off very much as individualistic strangers and as much as you might have neglected this, I'm sure we could see ourselves in one way or another through our juniors when they first entered. Plain lost sheep and really noisy sheep at that. Yet, amidst the cacophony of assertive voices and an undisclosed competition to be the most noticeable, we forged a kinship that has brought us together at one. It is crazy thinking how a plethora of inherently unique individuals (and as Players, the word 'unique' carries a lot of weight) managed to find a common identity in drama (perhaps a little skanky to begin with but nonetheless a common interest). The love of drama brought us together and when I look back on Players, I will cherish every production not only because of the hard work I put in, but because of the hard work we put in, as friends and family.

And while I have enjoyed all these aspects of living my life as a Player with you, I hope this feeling is mutual. I know not if I have done enough as your chairperson but I sincerely hoped I have. Forgive me for all the times I have been a sumbag (haha) or for whatever mistakes I made that has compromised the quality of my leadership. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed serving you guys and while it was once a title to tie me down with obligation to our CCA, it is now a testament of my pride in our achievements and a position I hope I deserve from your standpoint. It has been my pleasure being the chairperson of Players and I really want to thank each and every one of you for making my life so much easier because awesomeness was the lubricant to our once-rigid system. Either way, I hope our EXCO has served you well and let's not forget our place from here on. We may be leaving Players but we are not leaving our friendships behind. While it is important to let go, we must be select in what we choose to let go. Let us cut our bonds with the bureaucracy of the school education system but continue to strengthen the ties that have helped us weather the storms.

To my juniors: I hope you have had a Wilde start to your journey in Players and I would like to apologize for not bringing all of you together right from the start. Believe me, we tried very hard to create a more holistic experience for you guys but clearly the school bears a grudge against us. Hopefully though, you have managed to find this sense of belonging we were trying to instill in you whilst working towards this production. We are all really excited by the potential of your batch because not only do you have 28 people, you have 28 people with amazing character and talent just waiting to burst forth. Although we have known you for less than half a year, we will definitely miss you now that we are gone but we look forward to a really good farewell! Like really really REALLY good (Eugenia I'm looking at you!)

Simply put, I have always envisioned Players as a second home and family I turn to for solace and comfort, to give and receive life as it is. But I no longer need to foolishly contemplate such a possibility; I know now that Players has always been my family and will continue to be.

Thank you for always being there for me (: