The word of mouth has finally let loose official information regarding EXCO nominations and selection process. And amidst the chaos and scramble to move things along today at camp, I was struck by an inexorable whiff of nostalgia, an unusual pungent scent that permeated like a haze (like we haven't had enough of that these days) forming a shroud across my eyes, reflecting memories of nostalgia.

To join the juniors as participants and attend workshops was akin to revisiting my past and reliving our first contact with Players and the distant concept of a 'production'. Very so often, I get this feeling that the chunk of information we are force feeding our juniors may sound foreign or alien and while the jargon rolls off our tongues, it simply bounces off perplexed expressions. And yet, albeit these terms have become a part and parcel of our being in Players, to hear and relearn what power tools do, how lights are rigged, how make-up is done, and the vivid memory of me being chosen as the sacrificial model whose face would be disfigured came into light.

And in retrospect, I have been utterly lucky to be chosen more than once. To be nominated by my peers (or so I have heard but still unsure of) and to end up as the Chair of the most perfect CCA ever despite my initial steadfast intentions against running for an EXCO position has been an unexpected turn of events, definitely for the better. My experience in Players, both as a member and the chair, has certainly enriched my JC life and made it a more fulfilling journey. Granted, I complaint (A LOT) about CCA and the problems that some individuals can bring (and we are not limiting the scope to students) have made this journey more rough than I had envisioned but it made it all the more worthwhile to come this far.

I still remember it clearly, and as cliched as it gets, just like it was yesterday (perhaps it was, just a year ago), Jazzy hugging me with tears flooding her cheeks and telling me to take good care of Players. I certainly hope I did but it has been a long journey and I know I may not have done things right at times but I have had a great time serving the community and its people so I hope I get to live :P

And against all odds, there are still imperfections with this CCA and although I love it, I hate it almost just as much.

But every imperfection is matched up with an equal perfection or something that betters it and that's what counts.

And although I hate it, I love it even more.

And ever more.

This brings me back to the beginning and looking for my prospective successor is harder than I expected :/

But we'll get there.

Until know, I am at the end of a full circle.

waiting for a new beginning