Mid-week and I'm almost already burned out; not good at all...

This week has been filled (ironic as it is because only three days have gone by) with angst, pessimism and fatigue. I'm almost completely devoid of actual emotion now because it appears to be yet another point of unnecessary energy exertion which I certainly do not need to further compound my frustration.

Somewhere along those lines of blurred emotions and bottled-up feelings, I wondered:

Would things be better if I had try harder?

Will things be any worse if I don't try at all?

What a wet blanket. What a pessimist. Oh, what a shame and disgrace to the name and reputation you ought to uphold.

Shower your abuse at me but today I'm not one to budge. I have been sinking in this pool of inefficiency and it has reached a point when I can no longer wade through the mess. I am left stuck and helpless right smack in the center, with my only way in being out and the only way out being naught.

I try to think that I am called to do certain things because I can contribute to its success and perhaps I can. Still that is not saying someone else who has yet to undergone such torture and emotional turmoil cannot perform the same obligations I have unknowingly taken upon myself.

Inward-looking or not, it has come to a point where I literally feel dispensable.

Why do I even bother trying?

Why?

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But I leave hope as an end to this beginning, and a beginning to a fresh new start. Perhaps the new chapter to be written for the year has yet to make its mark.

Until then, this shall be purposefully untitled.