I've been thinking and discovering so much more about myself lately. Just two days ago, I reactivated my old Facebook account hoping to sieve out certain interesting facts about my past self that had long gone and moved on. On the contrary, I had managed to excavate secrets, perhaps even truths that I had wished never to witness again.

I had almost been completely blind to that whom I'd once been. It was difficult for me to accept that I was once so young and frivolous; born of the wild and ignorant of social rules. I frolicked like a monkey in the jungle, trampled over nature like the king of the jungle, and acted as though I were a tiny ant--hidden from visibility but capable of overwhelming destruction. Little did I know I was but a clumsy elephant, stubbornly trying to camouflage myself behind the fallen leaves of my mischief.

I was more conspicuous then I had figured but perhaps now, I'm not afraid to acknowledge that most of my screw-ups involved girls. I wouldn't be surprised there for I was like a cheetah caged but desperate to flex my muscles and flee into the open, a beautiful crane with clipped wings yearning to reach for the skies once again, a boy who spent the past 10 years of his education in a single sex school. That doesn't really satisfy as a valid excuse for my mistakes but nevertheless, it was a driving factor without doubt.

But truth be told, I look back but I never once disagreed with what I did. Some have it easy but I went through the hard lesson in life. Either way, I came out now more matured and susceptible to the changes in society. I guess some experiences are inevitable and it is this inexorable pressure of life that feeds us through a filter, leaving only the best and most matured portions of who we used to be--and that is the adult that is ready for a new life.

Happy Chinese New Year folk (: