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Thursday, October 13, 2011
I will try to fix you /6:49 PM

I know I promised myself I wouldn't be back here till the end of the exams and technically, there's still two more days hovering between confinement and liberty like no other. But psychologically, the worst has already past and what's done is done. I guess that's the better part of me: I live and let live. While others are reciprocating sorrow and what definitely comes across as half-hearted whines over the insignificant fact that their GPA is not a wee bit close to the perfect 4.0, I'd rather be down-to-earth and keep content with knowing that the best is yet to be. Seriously, there is nothing more foolish and might I say, degrading, to denounce yourself in an attempt to work harder (what bitter irony is that?). Furthermore, if you want the world to know so badly about your ego but can't afford to strut about chest out first, at least don't add a pitiful slant to your 'pleas'. At least boastful people are honest to their character. pfft...

Anyways, enough about me incessantly ranting on about irrelevant ideas. I just wanted to do some little reflection here now that I'm at the third quarter-mark. At this juncture, it is undeniable that I am an audio learning and focussing on my studying techniques this year, my observations can reaffirm my hypothesis (this is so becoming a scientific report so I shall spare you, and myself, the formal tone and diction). I pretty much need to talk and listen in order to absorb and internalize information. Whenever I pour over pieces of text or browse casually across the galore of words staring right back at me, nothing ever seeps into that non-porous brain of mine. It's like those movies that depict the imaginary flow of information towards and over my head.

In fact, I study best by confining myself to my bedroom and holding up the piece of notes whilst articulating it to myself. Perhaps that is partially why I have a stronghold in oratorical confidence and enunciation but more so, I am able to regurgitate the information more accurately. It's a clear symptom of mine that I must remember the phrasing of the notes word for word, especially when I chance upon a new vocabulary jargon. This rigidity more often than not impedes my efficacy in absorbing information but what can I say, the results pay off (:

It's queer how the world works and why I need to speak to myself despite being an introvert. I'm still confounded about the operational system of my behaviour and every day, I growing closer to the intimate ways I function (or malfunction). It's interest but frightening. It is a case of ignorance is bliss and yet the curiosity still killed the cat. Doubt I'd stay safe from the darker truths of myself but until then, I look forward to discovering more quaint antics of mine.

Man in the Mirror
Sean (:
Confirmed 2010 'Alexander'
God's Given Child
Eighteen
02 Scout & Raffles Player


"I am not young enough to know everything." -- Oscar Wilde



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