But that decision only strengthened me. It made my excel in what I do, even if it may be the elementary subjects of Mathematics or Sciences. My rudimentary aptitude in such academic pursuits have taken an elevation because I was able to play around with my time. And there was the life that I was attending--mine.
But now, I often whip out the joke that I have something to attend to--the same life I used to frolic in. But sometimes, those words spurt out heavy, like they carry weight and significance to reality. I can practically feel the intense force of gravity crushing on me when I know, that at times, I had lost it; the promise I had made to myself--to live a carefree life.
And when I struggle in dilemma, deciding if I should study for my Chinese Compo test or not, I begin to doubt: Is the life I'm attending merely a feeble excuse to skive or is it a broken promise that I cannot hold on to?
It breaks me down inside, not knowing what to do after deviating from my path in life.
It's like a car run offtrack with no one to push it back on track.
Lost. With direction but no propulsion.
Like the wind who wanders aimlessly, and yet against its currents, the air fights back.
Valiantly.