Hard to imagine that mayday is back and the term break has come to another end. And this time, I bid farewell to many things, both intangible and tangible. A host of emotions explode when I was told that Ching Hao was leaving for good, first to Taiwan before settling down in the great West; and not just shock, nostalgia or gloom. Inquisitional as my pervasive mind may be, I started to soul-search automatically when news first came in that he was leaving. First-reactions and first-thoughts all exhibit how much someone means to me and it wasn't until then that I started to doubt my F personality. I wouldn't be so quick as to deduce Ching wasn't a good friend of mine or anything (though I cannot vouch that we were the best of either), but he was clearly something; a part of a once whole now gone. But when asked to call up others for a last-minute gathering cum farewell, I was reluctant. One, obviously because I was lazy and two, which follows suit in this logical train of thought, some part of me was willing to let this part-flesh rot off. It would leave a gaping hole and I would remember how I indifferently called for an amputation. And that decision still remains, all that's not is how my personality used to shape how I act. Perhaps, some part of me wants to cherish others and to express care and concern; the urgent matter is, I don't know whether it's to stage a deception to prove to others (and maybe even myself) that I am 'F', or truly because I do care.