And this time, when I say it, I mean it: Things have moved so fast these past 2 days and insomnia finally caught up. I can't exactly recall the last time I had problems falling asleep, save the few occasions I lusted for coffee or when I napped in the afternoon. But last night was different. It was a living nightmare.

It's always been a wonder how soaps seem so dramatic to a third party--well, frankly everybody's the third party in a soap: The Director, the cast, the audience. But not when the soap's your life. It wasn't a redirection of the most emotionally-provocative scene you've ever watched--though I wished it were. This time, it weren't me making a fuss and destroying the family (but I wouldn't defame myself at this point of time). Something's got into my sister and it's troubling the entire family and that kept me awake the whole night. I know I slept in the afternoon and all but given a late night escapade--and even walking out at 12.15am to search for a runaway loner--it hurts to try to go back to bed. It hurts even more when you know someone still harbors thoughts that she doesn't belong to the family. It hurts more than my ulcers on the tongue, it hurts more than the eerie silence that stray.

Considering how fast things seem to have gone, I seem to have been displaced again.

I need to pack up and restart, but not now, cause I'm not leaving.