I had always wanted to witness the Easter vigil celebration for myself but all these years, my physical clockwork has never been in sync. And yet this year, after the my faith formation past confirmation and the growing years in Zion's Joy, the campfire made its timely appearance and stumped as I may be now (looking back), I chose the campfire (over God). A place of worship saw thousands mourning for the death of Christ and waiting in anticipation for the ressurection of the Saviour but I was amidst the crowd screaming.
I wouldn't blame the eventful appearance of the campfire for I knew choices were made. There was a clear distinction that I could have gone to God but something pulled me away.
I realize my Lent has never really been fully utilized to purify my stained soul nor make additional penance. This Lent seemed to have torn me apart slightly, not too deep a gash such that it will heal over time but deep enough for me to realize that there is much more to being a Catholic than acknowledging the season of Lent; it is about internalizing it and then living it out, to transform into the image and likeness of Christ.
Nevertheless, what's done has been done and life must move on. Lent is just a designated period for one to show his love for God but really, love never dies. And so I make this new resolve: to be more tolerant in the weeks to come and from this day of Easter henceforth, I am reborn as Christ is risen, and I will walk in his footsteps never to stray again (or try not to at least).
And once the MYCTs pass, I will take 20 minutes each day to read the bible.
I promise.
Lord grant me perseverance and strength..
I will return; as you did.