I was just thinking of two nights ago, when my eyes were flooded with tears, tears of an emotional confusion, a roller coaster of feelings that saw melancholy revived with anger and suppressed by overwhelming elation. It wasn't really until that night that I got down to reflecting (and this is true reflection alright), to empty my mind from awful thoughts or distraction, and to focus on the minute things that my parents had done for me, and the immense pain I had always caused for them. The times I lied, the times I rebelled, the times I failed to see their love because I was blind to their love language. But God had opened my heart and my eyes to remember and sense their constant love for me, for the Holy Spirit resides in everyone and when God sent his only Son to die for our sins, he gave us new life, with new hope and all these transcend from love.
I really kinda awkward now when I see my Dad because that same night, I fell into his clutches and tight grasp, only managing to choke out three very mushy words but totally encompassed my feelings. "I Love You" might be an easy phrase to mutter over SMSes or internets, and even more so to your friends or spouses etc., but to say it verbally to my parents, that was a real challenge for me. But God's grace and love empowered me and fueled me with strength and courage and I glad I spit it out. All the times I knew I had this feeling within me, true love for my parents but I never knew how I could express so so that they may understand. And these 3 simple words of affirmation rejuvenated our relationship, and I know just how much they love me too.
And may I never forget such understanding amidst confusion.
Thanks.
