Yesterday, I confirmed my true personality and virtue that I have always been to afraid to encounter. I cannot deny this myself the chance to admit this unholiness. I've always had the disgusting tendency to derive deep jealousy, no not even the slightest link to envy, but pure deep-rooted jealousy that sinks deep within my conscience and poison my carefree mind and its perception of the person. I have done it again last night, twice in fact, when I had to surrender my position to someone, dismantling a chance to be awarded with a medal--such a pity I am so goal-oriented. My ears bled with agony as a close friend indifferently read out his invitation to an interview for a position (in somewhere which I shall not disclose) and I swore under my rotting breath, that he was undeserving of such credit. The battle of my attributes versus his detriments ensues and this war rages for a day so as to speak, but I know the intention was there and this grudge has been poorly buried under the specks of dust that cannot cover its shame.